What's Your BMI?

These days in the corporate world it seems the bosses are always trying to find a way to save money. This week's victim is the corporate health care plan. It wasn't enough to disable the elevators and make everyone take the stairs. We thought when they removed all the candy bars from the vending machines and replaced them with soy-bars that we had seen the limits. But now it's getting personal.
Our self-appointed health guru (a.k.a. the guy who picks the new cheapest health care plan every year) had developed a health stimulus system to reward the people who statistically will use less of the health care money. If you don't know who that is, it's the skinny people. The system they gave us to measure ourselves against was the Body Mass Index (BMI). A simple calculator can be found here.
The big kicker is that anyone with a BMI over 25 is considered overweight, and anything over 30 is obese. Now, I'm not called Big Morty without reason. I'm a bit taller than average, and weigh in on the far side of 200 pounds, but I carry my bulk pretty well, as anyone can tell you who has had the unfortunate experience of getting in my way while driving to the hoop. But I must admit to you all now, that I am obese.
All employees categorized in the obese category had to meet with the regional manager who oversees benefits and he would decide if we needed to be placed on a company sponsored nutrition program. I also knew that this regional manager played one of the many company volleyball teams, the very team that my team would be facing last night.
Turns out being big still carries some advantages as my team of obese dudes carried the day against a much slimmer team of one regional manager, two girls who played in college and one metrosexual who sang a lot during the game. After winning the game and knocking their team out of tournament play, my entire team of unhealthy fatties was excused from the nutrition program.

Next week: The fat guys from sales versus the Asian guys from research in the pie eating contest.