Shave and Hair Cut

It's been a long time since I paid for a haircut. Mrs. Morty used to cut it, until I decided to simply cut it all off every few weeks and just embrace the inevitable baldness. My hair was getting pretty long (unfortunately not on top) and I hadn't bought new clippers since the smoke came out of my last ones, so I went to the barber shop.
I knew something was odd by the number of heavily musk scented Asian men who were working there, but thought nothing of it. Maybe barber shops have changed in the years since I began do-it-yourself hair cutting. I walked in and Shin-Jo directed me to his chair. I hoped he understood my instructions and was relieved when he replied in broken English "All skin sir?" He cut the hair quickly and efficiently without any unnecessary comments about the patch in the back that required no cutting. And when he finished he patted me on the shoulders and began squeezing.
"Oh," I thought, "a shoulder rub from a dude. That's odd. Maybe one of those foreign things from a country where people have no personal space bubble around them." And so I figured I'd enjoy the short massage and be done. Then he moved up to my neck. Fine. And started massaging my scalp. Okay, maybe it stimulates follicle growth and he get's more repeat business that way. Then he starting hitting my scalp. It hurt. Then he was squeezing my forehead. I didn't know I had deep tissue on my forehead, but there he was doing deep tissue massage on it. And he kept going, down to my eyes. Now I rub my eyes in the mornings when I wake up and it feels pretty good. I've never had another person rub my eyes for me, and it did not feel pretty good. It felt awesome. Now I'm addicted. I can't wait for my hair to grow back in to go get another shoulder/neck/scalp/forehead/eyeball massage. Maybe I should have the guy shave my back.