Friday, April 20, 2007

The Purple Water

If you've ever had the pleasure of using the public restroom at Wal-Mart you might not know that sometimes the bathrooms are cleaned. They are, and when they are cleaned the water in the toilet is purple. Not a little purple like someone didn't like their grape colored Gatorade, but really purple, like someone didn't like their six cans of grape juice concentrate. It's always a good feeling to know that of all the white trash buttocks that have graced the porcelain throne at the Wal-Mart, mine was able to remain free of the residue of the many previous visitors.
But no visit to the Wal-Mart restroom would be complete without incident. There was the slight disturbance as the kids fought for control of the fold down toddler seat. Mild disturbance as Morty Jr. played with the lock and opened the door wide. But those pale in comparison to the shock of looking at the footwear of the person in the next stall. Most footwear in the men's room can go without notice. Boots, sports shoes, loafers, all demand no special level of attention. But pink flip-flops are uncommon enough to merit a second glance. Pink painted toenails require a third look, and the half cell phone conversation overheard in a distinctly feminine voice caused one to double check the presence of urinals to ensure that I was not in the wrong. The surprised look of the young lady emerging from the stall and seeing four laughing men was worth the wait. I hope she appreciated her chance at using the purple water as much as I did.