It pains me to admit it. My pride and my manhood are both called into serious question because of it. But the first step to recovery is to identify the problem. Here it goes...
I have a bald spot. It's in the back so most people don't notice it. Those who do see it always do a double take to see if it is what they thought is was. Then they grimace and shake their heads a little. They never say anything to me of course, that would be rude, but I can feel the shame. They are almost embarrassed to see this great flaw in the otherwise perfect facade that I present. But it's true.
Last year I noticed a little bit of thinning. A little in the front. Some in the sides. But mostly in the back. It's undeniable now. It's bare, and it's patterned. I've tried to hide it by covering it up, but that is only temporary. I tried cutting it short to disguise the fact that it's all but gone in the back, but that just opened it up for more burning from the relentless summer sun.
I know it happens to other guys. But that knowledge does nothing to console the fact that it has happened to me. Some might say that it was inevitable, but I could have done more to prevent it. It may have been the stress, there has been a lot of stress in the last year. But now that stress is gone, and it's time to do something about it.
I can only hope that it grows back and fills in. But that process is slow. I need something to fix it now. I've resolved to try the comb over. Let it grow long around the edges of the spot, then pull it over to cover as much as possible. I know it looks goofy at first, but once it gets thick enough I think it will really look good.
The next option is transplants. I've done them before. From the front to the back. Even from the front to the sides. But now I don't know where I have enough to really fill in in the back. Maybe I'll have to ask one of my friends who I gave transplants to earlier this year. Had I know I would have needed all of it I would have been more hesitant to give it away. I gave away some of my best growth. Long and thick with good root structure.
But transplanting is my last option. I've done too much to risk it now. I'll wait till spring when the growth starts again. For now, I'll just have to be carefull when mowing in the back yard to let the grass around that bare patch grow long enough to comb over.
Please, be nice to the men with bald spots. Not all lawns are created equal.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Comb Over
Posted by Big Morty at Sunday, August 27, 2006
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5 comments:
Omigosh! I totally thought you were talking about losing your hair. I had to reread it. I kept thinking, "ya, Dan is thinnning in back as well as the front." It's been so gradual to me that I hardly notice it. But his mom notices and blames me for stressing out her son so much to cause him to lose his hair. Could it be that her father had the same hair pattern?
Dude! I think the comb-over would just be so totally sweet! You should do it man.
I've been thinning in the back myself and more forehead keeps getting larger. I blame it on my growing brain trying to stretch out my head. I keep absorbing all this knowledge from reading your blog that I have to store it somewhere.
Nice use of the deceptive metaphor by the way! That was top notch.
Will it really start growing again in the Spring? I mean, you know I have this friend who wants to know. Not me, nope. I couldn't care less. Um, so will it?
Bermuda grass, a weed that looks like grass, will go dormant in the fall, then start growing again in the spring. The stuff sends shoots out along the ground and spreads itself out fairly quickly. The grass is not pretty, nor does it feel good to walk barefoot on, but it is drought resistant and it does start growing again in the spring and will cover any thinning or bald spots of moderate size within a few months.
Kentucky blue grass, however, is beautiful, feels good, but needs more water and less severe weather than what Oklahoma provides.
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