On Super Heroes

I saw an episode of Stan Lee's "Who wants to be a super hero?" on the Sci-Fi channel. As far as reality television goes, this is one of the better ones. Better is a relative term because I can also say that as far as poisons go, arsenic is one of the better ones. Or, as far as forms of torture go, being repeatedly punched in the face by a woman who looks like a silver back gorilla is one of the better ones. That said I think everyone should understand that reality television, by definition, is poorly written, poorlier acted, and poorliest produced; with the added benefit of being as addicting as cocaine to the self feeding frenzy of entertainment television.
What I do like, however, is the idea of dressing up as a super hero (or super dork depending on your costume and/or powers) and running around in public places. There is nothing less attractive than an overweight woman in brightly colored latex, except, of course, a man, regardless of physical conditioning, in brightly colored latex.
Truly the costume is one of the secrets of a super hero's apparent invulnerability. An evil doer cannot keep them in the sights of their weapon while constantly averting their eyes, or falling to the ground in fits of dry heaves. Changing into costume in an unobtrusive yet public place is also part of their psychological bag of tricks. Much like the disgusting homeless person we all pretend we don't see, we just pretend that we don't see Bob from accounting slipping behind the office shrubbery and putting children's underoos on his head.
We all know that the true heroes in the world are not those in the brightly colored latex. They are the men and women who work behind the scenes. Going to work everyday and making the world safer one memo at a time. Secretly talking about Bob behind his back and asking someone in Human Resources to please talk to him about his insistence on calling everyone "citizen."
Big Morty salutes those who keep lesser super heroes in check. After all, if there were too many of us around my yellow spandex body suit would just look faddish.