You've seen Lord of the Rings and been enthralled by the plight of Frodo, the innocent Hobbit from the Shire. But what of the other side? What about poor Grishnakh, captain of the Orc soldiers in the Dark Tower? We know nothing of his upbringing or his past. Where is his movie?
We can imagine young Grishna being picked last for spiked-dodge ball. Later we see his father beating him about the head for failing to pass his Black Speech midterm. Tears stream down our faces as we see Grishna, with the help of his best friend Napoleonkh, baking cakes to ask out the ugliest (and therefore most desirable) girls in school, only to be rejected in favor of the captain of the spiked-dodgeball team.
In college, Grishnakh comes into his own. He is befriended by some UhOTC (Uruk-hai Officer Training Corps) cadets who invite him to train with them. Grishnakh excels through the bureaucracy of the Mordor military, fueled by his hatred for, and the timely deaths of his superiors. At the climax of the voyage we see a battle weary Grishnakh putting down a rebellion led by the "white-hands" from the Isengard Academy, only to be finally beaten down by his own men as they flee from the insurgent Hobbit terrorist Samwise Gamgee.
Unfortunately, history, and thus movies, are written and produced by the victors. It is a travesty of the modern edutainment system that Grishnakh's story has not been told.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Grishnakh's Story
Posted by Big Morty at Monday, December 25, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
The two pest things about writing this entry: Looking in the LOTR index and finding the name of only one Orc, and discovering that edutainment is a word.
Don't tell me that Napoleonkh is not a real Orc name! I was getting kind of attached to the fellow who was so kind as to bake a cake for the ugliest girl Orc. He sounded like a real sweetheart!
I heard Tri-Star wanted to do a film on Grishnakh, but Disney purchased the story rights first. However, Disney has come to an impasse because the family reserved some creative rights and insists that the dearly deceased’s embalmed corpse be used instead of an actor for any shots that do not require a close-up (not to be less than 50% of his on-screen footage). Additionally, they are requiring that he be paid time-and-a-half while he shoots, since he has to use his “vacation time” for the film. Consequently, it isn’t all that surprising that no one has started filming the much anticipated LOTR prequel.
Post a Comment