Multiple Guesses

With "No Dumb Kids Left Behind" policies being enforced in schools we see more and more evidence that kids are being fully prepared for life. Learning for the test is the way life lessons present themselves, and it's good that our educational system is beginning to match.
How often have we seen one of our favorite fictional characters learn something new, a new skill or a new appreciation for people who are different, only to be able to apply that lesson in the next 30 minutes to two hours. The next week, however, they are back to their same old lovable selves, be they dumb and trusting, or smart and bigoted.
And how do we measure the lessons learned by the youth of today? The time tested multiple guess test. The solutions to all life's problems are easier when you face them equipped with the knowledge multiple guess tests teach. When in doubt pick "B." Unless of course the test was designed by left-handed individuals, in which case "C" is the better than random answer. In true and false, it's much easier to satisfy false, because 99% true is still false. Whenever two solutions look equally plausible, check for an all of the above. Or, if a solution does not present itself right away, none of the above is always viable.
Last week I was presented with a typical life situation. The man with the black and white disco car told me I could either "pay the fine," or go with him "down to the station." Neither of the alternatives seemed overly appealing so I quickly responded with trusty old none of the above. I was soon rewarded with a pair of matching bracelets and ride in a semi-luxurious automobile.
Later, while waiting at a railroad crossing, another multiple guess dilemma arose. Should I A) Stay in the car like a good prisoner B) Continue kicking at the glass dividing the front and back seats hoping that it eventually gives in, or C) Fake a medical emergency and make a run for it once the door was opened?
I never knew that paramedics still had to use the defibrilator paddles even if you insist that you were only faking. Why wasn't that on your test, huh Mr Iowa Test of Basic Skills? Education is leaving people seriously unprepared for life.