How does my garden grow?

Literally thousands of you have been asking how the square foot garden is coming along. Nicely, thanks for asking.
Well, here's some pictures so you can see for yourself.

Here's the whole thing, not much of a perspective, but you can see the green in spots.

Here are the radishes, our first to sprout.

I think this is a green bean. Its about 50/50 right now if I will eat any green beans or not.

These are carrots. They look a lot like the onions, so only one picture.

This is corn in the fore ground, and you can see the peas in the background. The peas are our fastest growers.

Not pictured are the sprouts of cucumber, broccoli, onions, lettuce, artichoke, or pumpkin. (If you open up the pictures you can actually see some of them.) The tomatoes and jalapeños have not sprouted yet. We'll probably abandon hope on the tomato seeds and buy some tomato starts next week. It's pretty much guaranteed that I won't be eating any of the tomatoes, unless they are in salsa.

Look Familiar?

I really should not be left alone with the kids. Especially with Morty Jr following me around with a camera as I try to follow the guide book on taking care of Baby Morty.

48 Square foots

We decided that our Oklahoma clay is not ideal for growing our garden and so have built ourselves a "Square Foot Garden." Supposedly with the right mix of soil and other magical ingredients you can grow much higher yields of vegetables in a smaller area. Our experience has taught us a lot of new things.
1. 100 dollars in dirt is still not quite sufficient to fill an 8' x 6' x 8" tray.
2. A shovel swung at waist height for Morty Jr in an elevated garden is exactly head height on Baby Morty standing in the grass.
3. Hoping to grow a 500 pound pumpkin in a bucket is only a dream. A dream that will be crushed by a caring wife. Maybe a 400 pound pumpkin is more realistic.
4. The same mice that ate all the corn before we got any two years ago will somehow return from the dead, infiltrate the garage, eat all the seeds stored in a ziploc bag, inside a bucket, inside a wheel barrow, but leave the corn seeds to stand as a silent tribute to their domination.
5. If you cut the cable line while digging, and you don't have cable, then who cares?

Taking Care of Babies

I don't like to post unoriginal content, but this had me laughing out loud and I wanted to share.




























found on this site: instrucciones para cuidar un bebe

The Perfect Burger

I grilled burgers for dinner on Saturday. It was another Oklahoma winter weekend, sunny and in the high sixties, perfect for firing up the barbecue. I like to heat up the grill for a while early so that when I drop the patties on they get the nice lines on them like in the commercials. It's purely superficial, but I like it. Some people like to cook one side completely and then only have to flip once. I like to to flip thrice. Get it nice and soft, then add some Mrs Dash to get some flavor mixed in with the blood. Flip them again and add more Dash.
When they're done I like to add a slice of American cheese so it melts right away. Stack two burgers with pickles, onions, ketchup and miracle whip (and possibly some lettuce). Wash it all down with some not quite ice-cold lemonade (too cold and you can't drink it as fast) and you have an almost perfect meal.
Now, to no one's surprise, there are two burgers left. Take those two burgers, put the extra slices of onion between them, and refrigerate for an excellent lunch the next day right before church. Nothing better than tasting that sweet onion all through church, and you don't have to worry about onion breath, because making out at church is frowned on in most places.

It Smells Like Sawdust

There are a lot of smells that one might expect to find in their garage, but none more rewarding or satisfying than sawdust. Fresh cut lumber and its resultant dust is the critical ingredient needed to turn an ordinary garage into a workshop. Tools also help. Cordless ones that Grandpa Morty bought for your birthday are perfect. Lumber purchased with a Home Depot gift card that Grandpa Morty gave you makes the best smelling sawdust; so, if you don't have one, I'd suggest getting your own Grandpa Morty to help you complete your garage to workshop transition.

I've been wanting a good workbench ever since I got my own garage, and have looked at buying the ready made sets and at plans to build my own. Ready made sets are expensive, and if you accidentally drill through the top you might get mad. Building your own allows you the option of telling your wife that you drilled the holes on purpose as a place to store your screwdrivers. Wives don't appreciate the value of in-bench storage that accidental holes provide, so they still might try to make fun of you, but you can just run some of your power tools to drown out the sound.

I found some pretty simple plans for this workbench, and built myself two of them for Christmas. Then I built simple quilt frames for Mrs. Morty. It's important to keep the ladies happy by giving them gifts of things you've made out of lumber. It keeps them from asking a lot of questions about what you're doing in the garage, and why there are more holes in your workbench top than you have screwdrivers. They just don't understand.

I couldn't find the link to where I found the plans. Mostly it's just measurements and stuff, and if you want to build your own you can see the pictures, apply angular geometry and create your own. Here are a few measurements to get you started: the slot at the bottom is as wide as my thumb, and the gap at the top is as wide as my palm. Measure once-cut twice I always say.