Monday, September 10, 2007

Minimum and Maximum

There are many important differences between a minimum security prison and a maximum security prison. The largest is the effort they go to to keep you from getting out. Having recently spent some time as a guest of our government in a minimum security prison I learned that they don't really care if you get out or not, so long as you filled out the proper paperwork and are back before lights out. They know that the hassle of additional paperwork is enough motivation to keep all the well behaved and non-violent criminals in line. Security guards are there to help you get into the right line at the library and to make sure the pool doesn't run out of towels.
Maximum security prisons exist because the people inside them want to get out. It's bad enough on the inside that people are constantly running for the fences, digging holes through floors, and getting cakes with files inside them. Apparently enough people get out of the maximum security prisons that they need to put up signs advising motorists not to pick up hitch hikers, and that is good advice.
In a minimum security prison you tend to get bored because you are not constantly thinking up new escape plans, trying to avoid getting beaten up, and worrying about what to order for your last meal. Boredom is the prime reason why bored games were invented. Not to be confused with board games, bored games are a breed of their own. Candyland and Sorry are board games. Risk and Monopoly are bored games. Bored games are designed to fill time. They may involve some strategic thinking or planning, but the overall objective is to burn a few hours between sleep periods. You know you've crossed the boundary into bored games when you start making up rules to make the games last longer and be harder to win.
Maximum security prisons have their bored games as well, but shiv throwing and making explosives from household chemicals are not as popular at dinner parties.

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